We’ve Moved to Our New Domain

Hey there, you can catch up with your two favorite irreverent juveniles at their new home.

Click on http://turdonastick.com and receive a free turd keychain.

White People Can’t Karaoke

After the epic, heroic film, “White Man Can’t Jump,” exposed us to the plight of the white man and his inability to jump, we offer you a new epic plight of white people: White People Can’t Karaoke.

While some people may agrue that karaoake only belongs to drunken Asian businessmen belting out their sorrows and frustrations surrounded by a gaggle of hired women, and others may argue that it belongs to sloppy, drunk Asian university students shouting and singing out of key. We here at TOAS simply cannot refute these arguments.

Soft Corinthian Leather

Wow! We just got out first paying advert!

“I request nothing beyond the thickly cushioned luxury of seats available even in soft Corinthian leather. Yet, it is on the highway where Cordoba best answers my demands….In Cordoba, I have what I need.”
Ricardo Montalban

Chop, Chop! What Donnie Thinks

CHOP, CHOP! Here in our continuing series of the thoughts and musings of Donnie Davies, we give you the sceond intsallment of What Donnie thinks…

I’ve been researching for many years now and feel I’ve come up with a very strong program to help cure people of Homosexuality. Its called the C.H.O.P.S program and We’re running full steam ahead with it. C.H.O.P.S stands for:

• C: Changing
• H: Homosexuals
• O: (into) Ordinary
• P: People

We know we can do it. I have seen this program work. I’ve lived by in for years now. I believe that through prayer and this program peoples lives will change, for the Better.

Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I’m not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.

Sincerely,

Donnie Davies

Hugh Hefner Won’t Like Me Like This

Well, TOAS in an attempt to find new talent has combed the drag karaoke scene to give you this. It is our hope, that we can further enhance aspiring acts like this to further acclaim on such prestigious websites such as Pitchfork.

A Belated Tribute to the Godfather of Soul

Due to some technical difficulties (i.e. a massive cocaine binge with some strippers and whores), we here at TOAS have fallen out of the loop, so to speak. Rather than writing a heartfelt pompous testament to this legendary man, we would rather have him speak for himself.

Introducing “What Donnie Thinks”

As a continuing service to the public and to our avid readers, we at TOAS offer a new service: “What Donnie Thinks.”

A lot of people have been asking me, “Where are you coming from, Donnie?” Well, I was hoping that in my song The Bible Says that I had made myself clear, but there is only so much you can say in a 3 minute song.

I am in fact a Reformed Homosexual and I’m trying to let people know that there is an escape from being Gay. By letting people know that “God hates a Fag” I am doing Gods work, I’m preaching.

When I was in highschool I kept having feelings for the boys I was in school with. Often I would let these feelings take over. I got into lots of trouble when I was Gay.

I stopped listening to secular music and started going to my fathers church services. I was so miserable, being gay, something had to happen. I found Jesus! I found Jesus and He showed me the way. The right way to live that is. Loving, Gods Way!

If you have any more questions about me, please ask. I’m happy to share more with you and give testimony.
Peace

Donnie Davies